Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa
all the way from Ottawa in just one day
Hey-Hey
On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw
was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say
Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say

And they say Big Joe had an old pet frog
bigger than a horse and he barked like a dog
And the only thing quicker than a train upon a track
was Big Joe riding on the bull-frog's back

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

And they say Big Joe used to get real wet
from cutting down timber and working up a sweat
And everyone will tell you around Carlton Place
the Mississipi dripped onto Big Joe's face

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Now Joe had the portage from the Gattineau down
to see a little girl he had in Kempville town
He was back and forth so many times to see that gal
the path he wore became the Rideau Canal

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa
all the way from Ottawa in just one day
Hey-Hey
On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw
was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say
Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say

And they say Big Joe put out a forest fire,
halfway between Renfrew and old Arnprior
He was fifty miles away down around Smith Falls
but he drowneded out the fire with five spit balls

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Well he jumped into the Calabogie Lake real fast
and he swam both ways to catch a cross-eyed-bass
But he threw it on the ground and said "I can't eat that"
So he covered it over with Mount Saint Patt

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

And they say Big Joe drank a bucket of gin
And he beat the living tar of the twenty nine men
And high on the ceiling of the Pembroke Pub
There is twenty-nine boot marks and they are signed with love

Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa
all the way from Ottawa in just one day
Hey-Hey
On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw
was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say
Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say

They say Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,
Mufferaw Joe

Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw,
Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw,
Big Joe Mufferaw